Witch diary entries
Are you curious what it's like to live as a witch in modern society? Discover insightful and voyeuristic diary entries. Particularly about what it's like to live with a mind for the mystical but a hankering to be normal.
All ego really is, is our opinions, which we take to be solid, real, and the absolute truth about how things are. Pema Chödrön
Recently, I joined (well rejoined) a gym. Which is not noteworthy in itself but it’s kind of unnecessary as I’m already a member of a fitness studio where I regularly do four or five classes a week. By most people’s standards, that is a decent amount of exercise.
But I wasn’t getting the results (read: high expectations) that I wanted and things weren’t panning out as I expected. So, the ego goes:
‘Things aren’t working out, push harder.’
As such, I upped my workouts to eight a week.
And immediately got sick. So, the body (one of our best and most accurate oracles) goes…
‘I’m physically stopping you right now.’
I didn’t have it in me to workout for more than a week. I was physically stopped from old patterns and easy to grab “go to” situations and firmly placed right in front of my soul (or Id), unable to escape.
So, the soul goes…
‘Try something else. As long as you are free.’
Which is counter intuitive. Which is counter society. Which is counter logic. Because rarely, if ever, do you hear or absorb the message that working out is not a good thing. And the more you do, the better you feel, right?
Where am I at now? I’m experimenting. I’m experimenting with resting more (perhaps temporarily until the ego kicks back in).
What I’m not saying is…
…that I am giving up working out, or even aiming to work out less. What I am saying is that I’m willing to experiment with sitting with the soul (the greater/deeper part of me, whatever you/we want to call it) and seeing what resides there. What wisdom exists that counterbalances ‘things aren’t working out, push harder.’
You might like… what is tasseography?
Perhaps not as clearly defined as the flower in my tasseography coffee but I cannot deny there are were angel wings in my coffee on that day.
Whether they exist or not, or you believe they do or not, angels universally conjure up very specific vibes, generally that of protection and mercy. Rarely, do you think of an angel, fictional or otherwise, and think of anything but pleasing thoughts.
So, I was assured protection and luck created outside of my being and supernaturally (perhaps by angels?) that day. In hindsight, I wish I had bought a lotto ticket or something else that required a smacking of luck.
Because I like to get the most bang for my buck, I also see a four leafed clover in the bubbles. The combination of extreme luck and angelic vibes? Well, that’s just brilliant.
Can you see the angel wings and the four leaf clover?
I love the way some of my coffee images are just so recognisable at times. This was one of those mornings. The tasseography image in my coffee was a flower, specifically a tulip.
Bit hard to pinpoint this meaning but there were suggestions of beauty and life, via my Instagram. However, I felt strongly (which suits upon reflection) that it was more to do with new beginnings and something new (often creative projects) blossoming to life.
Send me the pictures of your morning coffee, tea leaves or similar.
This day’s tasseography showed up a classic symbol – the loveheart. Most people in the wolrd know what a loveheart is, how to draw one and what it unequivocally symbolises. History suggests that the loveheart came about through observations of plants, and/or perhaps early artworks.
Firstly, I love how perfectly formed this teeny tiny loveheat was. And is there anything more delightful than witnessing a delicate symbol of love in your morning coffee tasseography?
‘Since the late 15th century the dented red heart symbol was a common sight, and it was even used on playing cards,’ Vintage News.
I don’t tend to take the symbolism literally for me. Perhaps if I were reading for another, I would suggest this is a love of a romantic nature. But spotting lovehearts for me is more about the self, self identity and love as a universal energy. For lack of a better term. Perhaps, it is more clearly defined as a strong feeling of warmth to those around me and beyond.
How often do lovehearts show up in your beverages? Start keeping count.
You may like… what is tasseography?
I dreamt that I was rigged up to spy on a drug cartel. One organised by a prominent gang of female politicians. Hilary Clinton was there on a press junket. Which was engineered as a distraction for the heavy underworkings of this massive sting operation, run by women, to take down these burly, oily, overweight men. Think men in white singlets and bulging bellies.
Unknowingly, I had befriended one or two of them. And was unwittingly mic’d up (tiny thin wire, sticky taped to my chest, underneath my sheer white shirt). I was in grave danger and I could feel it. You see, I was being used as bait and there was no way that I’d be able to escape this alive, even if I happened to record their brazen confessions and run away from them. They would eventually find me and kill me. And I knew it.
I begged the woman in charge to release me from the burden of being a bit of bait in a sting operation. Furthermore, I did not want to be a sacrifice, no matter the cause.
Besides, I wasn’t even interested in helping the cause. I was just in the crossfire. I was merely the most convenient accessory and arm’s length and I couldn’t say no (thanks to fear). The irony being that I was also afraid of the outcome if I went through with it. As far as I was concerned, all of it had nothing to do with me. I just wanted to do my own thing and not be part of the politics, whatever the, quite possibly revolutionary, outcome.
It was such a no win situation for me that I was scared to play my part, no matter how innocent I was. Or how “right” the cause was.
Firstly, the dream interpretation meaning behind this, I’ve deduced, was that I’m tired and ready to bow out for a bit from all the pressing social issues that plague us daily. Most likely in the feminism bracket, given the strong women in power that featured in my dream. But it’s almost like that is too obvious. Perhaps, it also ties in with my need to stop being used by those around me (albeit innocently on their behalf) but I’m afraid to say no and afraid of the outcomes.
Truth be told, I do want to be passive for a bit. Or forever. Or for this life. That is to say I want change but I feel like I’m not the person to play a part in the effect of. What’s more, I don’t want to be a human sacrifice. This feeling is temporary, thankfully. But I am most certainly tired in a way that sleep can’t fix.
‘Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear,’ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned
Instead, I want to make beautiful art and live within in my creative realm. Pithy and pathetic and ineffectual in the grand scheme as that probably is.
‘Art is when you hear a knocking from your soul and you answer,’ Terri Guillemets.
What’s your interpretation of this dream? Would love to hear your insights. And don’t forgot to send me your dreams and I’ll throw up a brief interpretation.
At first glance, the image in my morning tasseography appears as a tree. But I knew my coffee images well enough to know that if it was meant to be a tree, it would look exactly like a tree.
Upon second glance, I suspected it was a person, perhaps an ogre of sorts. But after awhile it occurred to me that it was more than that. It was a mythological creature and one that I didn’t know of, at that time.
From looking at it, I suspected it was borne from Slavic traditions and that it was a tall creature that could possibly be frightening or its origins based through fear. But I didn’t actually know that many (if any) Slavic legends. With about half a second of Google research it was clear this humble image in my coffee was the mythologial creature, Leshy. Click the link to read my post about Leshy.
So, on this day, my coffee was telling me I needed to embrace the aspects and wisdom taught from the legend of Leshy. Eg, let go of internal baggage to help people see you in a better light (the light they inherently want to see you in). All this from a cup of Nespresso!
Have you ever seen any mythological beings in your coffee? Who?
I’m living between worlds at the moment as a modern witch. Which makes me quite tired. My body swans through this world, this heavy, archaic world.
And my mind is here also but my “other mind” the greater mind, or the mind behind the mind, is all encompassing something that I cannot grab, name or identify. At least not in the space, time, location sense.
This modern witch motherboard dashboard can operate at entire freaky levels – I’m writing and sitting in here this physical, heavy body (both energetically and physically) and there is a fully composed song (although the lyrics dash mercilessly out of my grasp, they fear their own genius too much to be left to the clumsy devices of a pauper like me). This song is a beautiful chart topper, with heart stirring melodic familiarity. And my conscious mind, the smaller mind at the forefront, seems to be scrambling, itching… trying to work out who sings it and where I’ve heard it before. How can I find it on Spotify?
I am half awake. Which makes it difficult, as most of the world’s population know, to exist. Stretching through worlds, no, bigger and better than worlds… are they dimensions? Leaves me confused and ever grasping for what I’m supposed to be doing, knowing, feeling…
This hypnagogic state is often my favourite (when it precedes a deep sleep). It also offers the most mystical insights and experiences. I’ve had the most vivid of auditory hallucinations during this time-space void: fully plotted out movies, orchestral odes, long lost memories and answers to problems de jour. But being in this state when the sun is shiny and the day is floodlit with normalcy is just plain f*cking irritating and debilitating.
Imagine me calling in sick (I don’t need to because I’m a fulltime modern witch but imagine nonetheless) because of “In Between Worlds Syndrome”. Such an irksome affliction.
Soundtrack to today’s mood:
What do you do when you encounter the modern witch affliction?
Read about the history of witchcraft.